Have you ever been in a room where the following things happened?

1. Framed pictures fell off the wall and crashed to the floor?

2. Chandeliers swayed and lights flickered?

3. Soda sloshed around in your Big Gulp cup?

4. Apples rolled off the counter and bounced around on the carpet like tennis balls?

5. Book shelves toppled onto the parakeet cage and sent birdseed flying? As well as made your parakeet squawk?

6. Cracks appeared suddenly in the ceiling?

7. A voice came on the radio that said. "We interrupt this regular broadcast …"?

8. The ground heaved beneath your feet? Or possibly opened up and swallowed you (and your living room furniture) whole?

And while all this was happening did you notice the sound of dogs howling (eerily) in the distance? Except if you live in China, in which case, did you notice the sound of pandas (this is the truth) moaning (eerily) in the distance?

If you answered YES to these questions then you obviously were a witness to either (a) an earthquake or (b) a Man Hug, sometimes referred to as a Dude Hug, Bro Hug, Bro-Grab or Thug Hug.

Wikipedia, that source book of all truth, defines a Man Hug as "a stylized greeting performed between two males." It "consists of a combination of a handshake and a one-armed hug."

Um. Yeah.

Except that anybody who has witnessed an actual Man Hug will immediately note this definition is far, far too tame.

Take what happened in our family the other night. All of our grown sons had gathered for a special occasion and, when it was over, they leapt out of their seats and embraced.

Which meant that the room suddenly got very … noisy.

It was full of the sound of fearsome, hearty back-slapping. Really, REALLY fearsome, hearty back-slapping. Also pounding.

How fearsomely hearty was the slapping? Also pounding?

Well. Let's just say this. As figurines flew off the shelves and ricocheted around the room, I started looking for a door frame to stand in.

But not until I fetched my 72-Hour Emergency Preparedness Kit first!

(KIDDING! We weren't even at our house. Besides which I don't really have a kit. Although if I did I would make sure it had at least 72 hours worth of chips and salsa.)

"Hey!" I said. "Stop smacking each other!"

"Hey!" my oldest son said back. "It's not a real Man Hug unless it hurts!"

OK. I'm guessing THAT right there would be a big difference between sons and daughters. Not that I ever had a daughter BUT STILL. We women are not all about slapping each other silly when we hug, thereby knocking loose our expensive bridgework and so forth.

No! We females embrace warmly, not violently. And dang if we don't smell great while doing it.

Hold on. Wait a minute. What was that? Did the walls here just shake?

This can only mean one thing — that somewhere dudes are hugging.

e-mail: acannon@desnews.com