Surrogates

If you didn't know any better, you'd swear that both the cast and crew of "Surrogates" were trying to make the worst movie possible.

This science-fiction thriller is inept in nearly every facet of filmmaking, from performances to direction to screenwriting to the stunt work.

And if that wasn't bad enough already, the material borrows too heavily from the Terminator and Matrix movies, as well as several well-regarded Isaac Asimov novels. (As such, it's vastly different from its heady source material, the comic book miniseries by Robert Venditti and Brett Weldele.)

Worse yet, it's a complete snore — that is, except for a few unintentional hilarious moments. Most of those have to do with horrible hairpieces and appliances that are worn by two of the more prominent male stars.

That includes Bruce Willis, who wears unconvincing hair in his role as an FBI agent named Greer.

Like most people in this futuristic "utopia," Greer prefers to stay indoors these days and instead let his robotic "surrogate" do everyday living for him.

That's even true of his professional responsibilities. In surrogates forms, he and his partner, Peters (Radha Mitchell), are investigating the murder of a prominent citizen, the son of Canter (James Cromwell), the man who pioneered surrogates technology.

Their prime suspect (Jack Noseworthy) used some sort of weapon that not only fried the robot but also caused fatal feedback to its human "operator."

Greer and Peters also discover that the perpetrator may have fled so he can seek asylum with an anti-surrogates resistance group, which is led by the mysterious Prophet (Ving Rhames).

Director Jonathan Mostow ("Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines") and production designer Jeff Mann apparently wanted the surrogates to look like inexpressive mannequins.

So you can sort of understand why Willis and Mitchell sound and act so robotic when they're playing the surrogate versions of their characters. But Willis continues to be monotone and emotionless even when he's playing the human "operator." As Greer, he's uninteresting and pretty blase.

As for Rhames, he's wearing what appears to be one of the dreadlocked wigs used in the 2000 cinematic disaster "Battlefield Earth."

"Surrogates" is rated PG-13 and features strong violent content (including beatings, gunplay and shootings, and vehicular and explosive mayhem), gory and bloody imagery, occasional strong profanity, brief sexual contact, crude slang and lewd dancing, derogatory language and slurs, and brief drug content and references (antidepressants). Running time: 88 minutes.

e-mail: jeff@desnews.com