Dirty Laundry blog: The Mommy Wars may be over but ...

(MCT) — When Natosha McIntyre and her husband moved into their Chesterfield subdivision, one of the neighbors invited them over for a barbecue, along with another couple.

Natosha was pregnant, and while chatting with the other moms, she asked if they worked. They were stay-at-home moms. They asked about her plans.

"Oh, I work," she said. The women laughed.

"Well, that will all change when you have your second baby," they said.

Natosha felt a little hurt and a little defensive.

She is dedicated to her company and her job in computer software sales. She had no intention of quitting her job.

But as one of the few working moms in the neighborhood and the only working mother in her daughter's Mom's Day Out program at church, she felt like she was in the minority.

The statistics, however, show a substantial increase by mothers in the U.S. labor force. In 1975, 47 percent of mothers with children younger than 18 participated in the labor force. By 2007, participation had grown to 71 percent of mothers, according to U.S. Bureau of the Census.

While there can be strength in numbers, there is greater strength when individuals can band together.

"When I had my first child, I did feel extremely left out," Natosha, 28, said.

She signed up for a play group through the Rockwood School District's early childhood program. The five moms in the group have become fast friends; they all have daughters the same age, and both parents in their households work. The experience has been so great, Natosha decided to create a professional group on LinkedIn for working moms in West County.

"I thought it would be really nice if we could have an open forum to support one another," she said.

"I've lived on both sides of the divide: When each of my children was born, I took about a year off. Then I worked part-time for a few years. A year and a half ago, I returned to work full-time. These days, there is a kinship among mothers, wherever they work."

Most women recognize that all mothers, whether they work outside their homes or stay at home to raise their families, are trying to do what they think is best for their own families.