Hawaii coach learns an expensive lesson

If you've ever been asked to speak in public — at church, a school classroom, a banquet, a funeral — then you probably know how absolutely embarrassing it is to say something you thought was pretty dang funny ... and nobody else in the room sees the slightest bit of humor in it.

For an instant, you wish the floor would swallow you up. You wish you could pull those silly words back, stuff 'em right back in your mouth and quickly say something else.

But, unfortunately, the damage has already been done.

Welcome to the world of Greg McMackin, head football coach at the University of Hawaii, who opened his mouth and stuck both feet in it.

McMackin, in case you hadn't heard by now, was in Salt Lake City a few days ago for the annual Western Athletic Conference football media day. In a vain attempt at humor, he repeatedly used a slur generally targeted at gay men to describe a chant that was performed by Notre Dame players at a banquet before last year's Hawaii Bowl.

McMackin, who used the offensive language three times while talking to members of the media — some of whom could be heard chuckling in the background as McMackin rambled on — quickly realized the error of his ways and apologized publicly and profusely for his poor judgment.

And from the tone of his apology, he is sincerely, deeply, truly, tearfully — and financially — sorry for making those remarks.

"What I was trying to do was be funny, and it wasn't funny," he said. "It's not funny. Even more, it's not funny to me. I was trying to make a joke and it was a bad choice of words. And I really, really feel bad about it. ... It was really stupid."

We live in an age consumed by political correctness, but no one will argue with him on that last comment. It was a really stupid thing to say.

On Friday, he was suspended for 30 days without pay. And, to show how terrible he feels about his misguided rant, he has also volunteered to take an additional 7 percent pay cut from his $1.1 million annual salary. His battle with foot-in-mouth disease will cost him roughly $169,000, to say nothing of damage he's done to his reputation and respect, as well as that of the school he represents.

Rule No. 1 in public speaking: You've gotta know your audience. Sure, there might be some things that would fly if you're just sitting around a table with your buddies at a sports bar, or sitting around a campfire up in the hills while deer hunting.