Specifying gifts is helpful

Last month my husband, Grit, and I went to our niece's wedding in Salt Lake City.

A friend of the bride offered her backyard for the reception. My niece and her fiance spent many hours working and planting the backyard in order to fulfill their dream of a beautiful June wedding.

The had pictured a moon candlelit reception … not!

Instead it was a hastily thrown together affair at a nearby church.

As it turned out, that day was one of the rainiest the Salt Lake Valley has ever had. Even though they had to put a sign up in front of the house informing the guests the reception had been moved to a church, the room was filled with many guests and as many presents piled high on tables. (Oh, and the groom was really hot — not in the vernacular sense. The kid had a high fever. But that's another story.)

Speaking of presents, I remember some piled in the corner of our small basement apartment nearly 50 years ago. They were the returns, duplicates and so forth that my practical self didn't want to store. Well, my mother didn't want to store.

There was a pile of china and silver, which of course my husband and I were grateful for but would never use for years.

Back then, we dutifully registered at lovely stores for crystal and other superfluous gifts with no future other than being stored in the attic or basement of some kind relatives.

That was what happened to bone china and silver when the couple, students in our case, was so poor they could hardly afford food, let alone dining with flowers by candlelight.

And in those days, many guests had no idea where someone was registered and often ended up buying a gift that — however thoughtful — wasn't quite right.

When my children got married, they added everyday china and stainless steel to their registry lists, which makes so much more sense than bone china or silver.

As they unwrapped their gifts, we noticed the givers had often chosen the more practical suggestions, so our kids ended up with things they could use right away.

In the case of our niece, her dream reception was ruined but likely not her hopes for gifts … her invitations told invitees where to shop and what to buy.

Now I know people who complain about how tacky and presumptuous that is.

But personally I think it's a great idea — it's convenient and practical — and because I've bought a gift the bridal couple has requested, it isn't likely to be returned or re-gifted.

Nobody gets married without something going wrong, so if you're ever stuck for conversation, just ask someone what was the craziest thing that happened at their wedding and you'll get a great story every time.

But at least now the gifts are usually right.

e-mail: sasyoung2@aol.com