Fore! Here's my top 10 list of golfer pet peeves

Playing golf is usually a joy for us golfers or else we wouldn't spend all that time knocking the little white sphere over earth's verdant fairways. Still, there are a few things that can spoil your day of pleasure.

Here are 10 of my pet peeves on the golf course:

HARRY THE PUTTING GREEN HOG — When you hit the practice green, the usual procedure is to plop a couple of balls down and practice putting, usually to a variety of holes taking turns with your fellow golfers. But this guy is chipping to a hole with his putter sticking out and a couple of dozen balls surrounding it.

BUTT-HEAD BARNEY — You may not see this guy, but his evidence is everywhere on the course. He's the one who leaves smashed-up cigarette butts on the fairways and the side of greens. A growing problem is the trail of sunflower seeds on greens.

SEVERAL-SWINGS SAMMY — One practice swing is usually enough, but we'll give you two. Anything more than a couple and maybe you should be on the practice range rather than the golf course.

MARKY MARKER — This is the golfer who stands in the middle of the green after holing out, pencil in hand, putter tucked under arm. Maybe he's just too stupid to remember that triple-bogey he made a couple of minutes earlier.

DELUSIONAL DENNY — I always think it's better to be safe than sorry, but don't you hate it when you see the guy in front of you bump his drive 175 yards off the tee on a 500-yard hole and then stand there forever waiting for the group ahead to get off the green? Yeah, like he's going to hit the first 325-yard 3-wood in history.

SLOW JOE — Any slow golfer is a pain, but the worst are the guys who refuse to let you play through. Just stand to the side and let us hit through.

FORE-LESS FREDDIE — If you hit a bad shot and it's heading toward fellow golfers, it's always a good idea to let them know they're about to get smacked. Pretty simple.

LOST BALL LOUIE — He's the golfer who looks for his lost ball for more than the five minutes allowed by golf rules. Sure you paid four bucks for that Pro V-1, but give it up already, you're holding up the whole course.

WRONG TEE LEES — These are the guys who want to play the whole course, so they insist on playing from the tips, then barely get their drives past the red tees. Only scratch golfers should play the black tees.

WALLY WANNABE — You know the type. He crouches down behind his ball on the green, plumb-bobbing his putter with one eye closed like he's seen pros do on TV. Then he walks around to the other side, checks the line halfway to the hole, stands over the ball for 30 seconds before stroking his 20-footer about 12 feet.

So there you go. If you recognize yourself as one of these golfers, try getting better — or get out of my way when I'm playing.

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