At the G-8 Summit, the eight rich industrial countries ordered the poor countries to lower their polluting. Never mind that polluting was how the industrial countries got rich.

President Barack Obama proposed helping poor countries grow their own food instead of sending them American-grown food. Poor countries could then discover what a tomato is supposed to taste like.

It was agreed that the global temperature ought not increase more than 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit. That's because at 3.7 Al Gore breaks out in hives.

The Summit was held in Italy where a gracious Prime Minister Berlusconi offered to share his mistresses with the delegates.