Entire human race apparently afflicted with ADD

Attention Deficient Disorder, or ADD, is a commonly recognized disorder of the brain. ADD is described in the DSM IV, which is the Bible and Webster's combined for psychological disorders. To qualify, at least six of "the following symptoms of inattention have persisted for at least six months to a degree that is maladaptive" (adapted from the surgeon general's Web site on mental health):

 Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes;

 Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities;

 Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly;

 Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish chores;

 Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities;

 Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort;

 Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities;

 Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli;

 Is often forgetful in daily activities.

Attention Deficient Disorder is calculated from a Mayo Clinic study to be present in 7.5 percent of the school-age population. I submit the Mayo folks completely underestimated it. ADD is really in 100 percent of us men, and especially at least 100 percent of husbands. Historically, girls with ADD went unrecognized because they did not run around and cause trouble like the boys with their hyperactivity annoyance. So in the spirit of fairness, let's diagnose the other half of the total earth population with it as well: Oh, just make it easy, and say all humans have ADD.

This is not to imply that we all need to be put on medicines, but looking around this crazy old world, at times it would be nice to have one giant resource teacher for the whole of us. When we lose our car keys for the millionth time, wouldn't it be great if we had our own personal resource teacher? Let's call her Ms. Barton; she would gently bring us back from space and remind us that they are still in the pants pockets from yesterday. Instead of relying on Outlook, Palm or Covey we would know where we are and where we need to be.

Now translate that to the rest of our world. We would never be late to work, friends' dinners, or church. When the boss says 9 o'clock, we would be there at 8:59. The pencils in front of us would be all sharpened and in line. We would do things that we had previously conveniently forgotten.