'Warehouse 13' is empty; '10 Things' is a hoot

Published: Tuesday, July 7, 2009 12:08 a.m. MDT
 |  E-MAIL | PRINT | FONT + - 

Decades ago, when stations across America took down their Esso signs and replaced them with Exxon signs, the end result was — new name, same old gas.

The same can be said for the Sci Fi Channel, which today becomes SyFy. This momentous (????) occasion is marked by the premiere of the series "Warehouse 13," which is simply the latest lame attempt to "broaden" the science-fiction audience.

"Lame" is the operative word here. "Warehouse 13" is just another bloated, gassy and rather insultingly dumb show from the channel that has given us "The Dresden Files," "Eureka" and "Flash Gordon."

Imagine for a moment that Mulder and Scully of "The X-Files" were a dope and a shrew, and that they worked at that big warehouse where they put the Ark of the Covenant at the end of Indiana Jones' first movie, "Raiders of the Lost Ark." That's pretty much what's in this "Warehouse."

As the series opens (7 and 9 p.m., SyFy), Secret Service agents Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock) and Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) are at odds over protecting the president. She's the anal-retentive type — everything has to be planned to the most minute detail in incredibly annoying fashion; he's the go-with-your-gut type.

Story continues below

Turns out both types are needed when a museum employee is possessed by an evil spirit that inhabits an ancient artifact.

Well, both types and a weird guy from Warehouse 13. Artie Nielsen (Saul Rubinek) swoops in to save the day and take that troublesome artifact back to the warehouse.

They next thing you know, Pete and Myka are transferred to Warehouse 13. The mysterious, seemingly immortal Mrs. Frederic (CCH Pounder) wants them as part of her team. And what Mrs. Frederic wants, Mrs. Frederic gets.

Myka is horrified — it's in South Dakota — but Pete is kind of intrigued. And they're both taken aback by the seemingly endless collection of bizarre and potentially dangerous supernatural items stored there.

The Secret Service agents have barely settled in when they're sent on their first assignment. It seems a college student in Iowa hit his girlfriend, and Artie thinks it might be related to some sort of supernatural item.

It makes no sense, but then nothing in "Warehouse 13" makes sense. Good science-fiction writing makes the impossible seem plausible; this kind of science-fiction writing — the bad kind — just seems ridiculous.

Anyway, Pete and Myra are soon on a little adventure to retrieve the item and save the day, which is going to be the format for coming episodes.

Those future episodes might be better if only because they're shorter. Tuesday's two-hour premiere seems to drag on a lot longer than that.

Recent comments

I agree, Warehouse 13 is rather lame, has no imagination and makes no...

Rafael | July 9, 2009 at 10:07 a.m.

Bad form, Bill.

My mom forced me to watch ABC Family's "Make it or...

Anonymous | July 9, 2009 at 2:10 a.m.

for the heads up -- I really liked the "10 Things" pilot and probably...

Thanks | July 8, 2009 at 12:59 p.m.

Image
Justin Stephens, SyFy

Joanne Kelly and Eddie McClintock star in "Warehouse 13."

previousnext

Latest comments

Great review, Seth. Makes me want to read the book. Keep up the good work.

What ever happened in this incident is the the Business of Mr. and Mrs....

Yeah it was the same Elder Buttars that served in the Philippines during that...

Lessons Learned! The rivalry is just a bit caustic, tone it down, keep your...

Understanding translation process

In response to the questions about why the art in the CHM shows Joseph...

Rush is brilliant and there is much to learn from his point of view...which...

BYU says Hall incident resolved

BYU is not at all perfect...and the reason why people expect high things of...

Boys basketball rankings

Duh yourself! Click on Boys Basketball, scroll down and click on rankings,...

That's it? No more to say? I'm stunned that a football rivalry, that...

It's unfortunate that Max didn't have the guts or the dignity to issue his...

Advertisements