A few weeks before my daughter Emma's most recent birthday — her ninth — she was sitting at the table leafing through supermarket ads.

"Mom, eggs are on sale. We could have scrambled eggs for breakfast at my slumber party. Oh, wait, another store has waffles on sale. That might be easier."

I smiled to myself. My long quest to teach my kids about budgeting had finally paid off.

The high cost of celebrating birthdays had first become a topic of discussion in our house four years earlier. Our youngest at the time, Daniel, now age 5, didn't yet have strong opinions on the subject, but Emma and her brother Jacob, now 8, longed to imitate their friends' expensive gatherings.

They wanted it all: elaborate store-bought cakes, pizza, and entertainment. Or they asked to invite all their classmates to a laser-tag party or something equally pricey.

When my husband, Barry, and I tried to suggest less expensive options, we'd hear, "But my friend had her birthday at the zoo and invited the whole class!"

Barry and I felt torn. Of course, we wanted our kids to enjoy and remember their birthday parties. But we also had to keep the cost within our means.

Then Emma's next birthday loomed on the horizon. She really wanted a store-bought Barbie cake (with a real doll in the middle!). It would cost $40 and serve just eight people. I tried to explain how extravagant this was when you really thought about it, especially since we'd need to buy

another cake to have enough for everyone. She looked at me and said, "But it's my birthday. How come I don't get to decide what to spend money on?"

She had a point. Suddenly, an idea occurred to me: why not just set a party budget and let the birthday boy or girl decide how to use it?

I shared my brainstorm with Emma and Jacob. Starting with Emma's birthday, we'd be instituting a new policy. The kids could plan their own parties — as long as the total cost of each shindig came to less than $100.

Of course, this sounded like a lot of money to my kids. Emma eagerly announced that she wanted to invite her class to a swim party at her grandparents' pool. We figured that around 15 kids would attend, plus seven relatives and family friends.

Emma wrote down her wish list for the party, and with a little research, we were able to estimate the cost of each item:

Goodie bags ($2 each) $30

Barbie cake $40

Extra cake $25

Ice cream (different kinds for everyone's tastes) $10

Pizza $25

Drinks (juice boxes, soda) $10

Invitations/thank-you cards $6

Decorations $5

Disposable tableware $10

Pinata and candy $40