Lebowitz felt good about helping the Schwartzes out of financial distress, but said she would miss her friends at Jewish Home Assisted Living in River Vale, N.J.

"When I live with younger people, I'm going to feel like a burden," she said. "I'll have to think about how not to take over the newspaper, TV, conversation and the bathroom."

Her niece's 73-year-old husband, Al, plans to keep Lebowitz busy by driving her to Yiddish classes and chorus practices at the Southeast Senior Center in Englewood, N.J.. "I'll be her employee now," he said.

He'll have to make safety improvements, such as putting a grab bar by the tub. Lebowitz is physically healthy but has short-term memory lapses. The Schwartzes hope her condition won't slip further and want to take care of her as long as possible.

Living with relatives is a tradition among many immigrants and poor families, but it's an unexpected twist for strivers who had established independence and were forced to give it up.

PARENTING DIFFERENCES

Sigalit Flicker begged her parents to move from their Englewood, N.J., rental into her Tenafly, N.J., house for a year. Divorced with two children, she said she had to adjust to a reduction in alimony due to the recession's severe toll on her ex-husband's mortgage business. She could no longer afford her nanny so she needs her parents to baby-sit. She works as a "millionaire matchmaker" in Manhattan.

"Being 42 and living with your mom and dad isn't easy," she said. She's grateful her mother cooks dinner, but sometimes they clash on discipline. "My mom gets very mad that I let my kids sleep in bed with me," she said. "She yells at me they should be in their own rooms, but I miss them so much I want to cuddle."

Her father, Mordecai Paldiel, a Holocaust scholar at Yeshiva University, says it's hard to resist falling into father-knows-best patterns. "We still think of them as our children and having to change their diapers," he said.

There's one pure upside: Paldiel adores living with his grandchildren. "It's worth millions," he said.

Multi-generational living began to grow even before the recession, to 6.2 million households in 2008, up from 5 million in 2000, according to AARP. Elinor Ginzler, who studies housing for AARP, cites the increasing influence of African-American, Asian and Latino cultures that value living together so that elders can share their wisdom.

Stephanie Coontz, director of research at the Council on Contemporary Families, argues that Americans have become more appreciative of living with extended family.

Early in the 20th century, marriage was romanticized and many people believed a healthy marriage was based on nuclear families. In the past 20 years, those views have softened.