Relationship: Don't put off tackling procrastination

I've been meaning to get around to this for a while, but it's so easy to find other things to do. That is the credo of the procrastinator.

If you are making yourself miserable because you can't bring yourself to do what you need to do, it's time to change that habit. Here are some tips to help you do just that.

-- Timing is everything. Start timing how long it takes you to do some of the things you procrastinate about. For example, the man in my mirror hates doing dishes. I used to let them pile up in the sink. Then one day, I was in a hurry and happened to glance at the clock before I began putting my hands in soapy water. When I was finished, I looked at the clock again, and all of six minutes had passed. Now that I know the process takes much less time than all the things I did to avoid it, getting it done is much easier. And life at home is a bit more pleasant.

-- Just do it. Some Olympic-level procrastinators will spend much of their time trying to look for shortcuts or employing avoidance techniques like saying "That's not my job" or thinking "Who else can I get to do this?" The truth is that if you just jump into the task at hand, you will have some extra time in your life, which you can use in whatever way you choose.

-- Face your fear. When you've been avoiding something because the thought of the task or failing at it causes you anxiety, it can't feel good. In addition to fighting the fear factor, you are actually creating an excuse to delay or completely disregard important things in your life. If you are scared of a particular chore, it will help to get your partner or a friend to assist you. For many people, just having the company is a great motivator. Fear can block us from many things in life; working through it will strengthen you and your relationships.

-- Schedule lazy time. Often we don't get around to doing what we need to do because we're just plain tired. One of the best ways to overcome this is to reward yourself with a nap or other downtime, once you have completed what you need to do. Taking a break is a necessity. None of us can be productive all the time, and getting a good rest actually makes you sharper.

Getting past procrastination is a good thing, but you need not beat yourself up in the process. You didn't create this behavior overnight, and it won't go away just because you've thought about it. Take steps, one at a time, to move your life forward, and before you know it, you will love the productivity and your life a lot more.

(Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a marriage and family therapist in Westlake Village, Calif., is the author, most recently, of "Emotional Fitness for Intimacy." He also hosts "Emotional Fitness" on NPR. E-mail him at Barton(at)BartonGoldsmith.com.)