Men cope differently than women

Dear Abby: My husband was laid off in 2008 and has searched everywhere, even out of state, for a job and found nothing. I feel bad for him because he is home 24/7. I try to get him out of the house to no avail, and when I ask him to tell me how he really feels, he says he's fine and that he will be OK.

I want him to express the way he feels because he is keeping all of his pain and stress to himself. How can I help him? — Worried Wife in Englewood, N.J.

Dear Worried Wife: Men and women do not always express their innermost feelings in the same way, so please stop trying to pry the pain and stress out of your husband or you may add to it.

What concerns me more than your husband's unwillingness to "dump" is the fact that he is staying in the house 24/7. Cocooning is no way to find another job. However, volunteering some of the time he has on his hands could be. And that's what you should insist he do.

Dear Abby: I have cancer and my family and friends are hosting a fundraiser with dinner and a silent auction. My question is, what do I do with the things that are not purchased? Should I return them to the donors or what? Thank you. — J.C. in Illinois

Dear J.C.: Offer to return the items to the donors, and if they refuse, donate them to the American Cancer Society at one of its thrift stores.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © Universal Press Syndicate