Families, friends share ritual of remembrance

Dee Ryan wanted to beat the rush.

So on Sunday, with her daughter and grandson in tow, Ryan visited the grave sites of family and friends in Salt Lake City as a way to say, "Hello."

For many, Memorial Day is a day of remembrance for those individuals who died during active military service. Others say it is a day to remember anyone, or at least someone who isn't living anymore. Ryan said she doesn't need a specific day to remember her daughter, Wendy Hatch. She's done that everyday since July of 2007 when Hatch died from complications related to a brain aneurism.

"I think about her everyday, everyday," Ryan said. "I just didn't want her to have the only grave without any flowers (Memorial Day.)"

Birthdays or anniversaries, Ryan said, there isn't a bad time to visit her daughter's grave and reminisce. She does try to avoid Memorial Day though, the parking lots are too full. While Ryan doesn't always bring flowers or signs when she stops by her daughters grave, she doesn't take chances when she does, "Don't put something on a grave that you couldn't lose. People steal decorations," Ryan said.

Ione Herzog, a resident of Sandy lost her husband Clarence in February. She said the loss has been difficult, but with frequent visits to his grave it has been easy for her to share new stories with him.

"It's comforting to talk because we had some special experiences together," Herzog said. "I come here and read him letters from our grandchildren serving missions and I always tell him what I'm doing."

The ritual of remembrance is why Bill Reese and his son Robin said Memorial Day is so important."We visit because it brings back the memories we made with them when they were living," Reese said. "It's an opportunity to reminisce and think about where we are and what it means."

For Reese the search for a grave starts the ritual of remembrance. Then begins the maintenance, cleaning the site and trimming the grass as the family members share memories of the deceased.

"It's about recalling the memories of the past," Reese said. "That's it."

E-MAIL: cnorlen@desnews.com