Caregiving costs Americans millions

Jodee Kalman drew the caregiving card four years ago.

She was 50 when her husband, Peter, then 57, was diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia. His ever-worsening symptoms had already cost him his job.

She was a stay-at-home mom with two sons but became a school bus driver.

They lived off her small salary, his Social Security Disability, the equity in their home.

Today, she is one of 44 million Americans responsible for caregiving a spouse or parent. The backbone of the nation's long-term care system, they represent $375 billion annual value in the care they provide.

But in these hard economic times, a new survey shows caregivers are facing escalating financial and emotional hardships that are rarely, if ever, addressed in national debates about funding health care.

There are statistics, data and Web sites offering help, but the truth is caregiving is where childcare was years ago, says Sherri Snelling, senior director of Cypress, Calif.-based Evercare.

Few employers offer benefits. Many adult children are losing their jobs, forcing them to move in or move home parents who were in care institutions. Most caregivers are not prepared for the expense and the emotional drain.

In the next two weeks, we'll look at the data and the solutions, the questions and the few answers.

The Kalmans thought their future was secure.

"My husband and I did everything we were told to do; buy a home, save money for retirement and open college funds for our boys," Jodee Kalman says. "What they did not tell us was that dementia was going to enter our lives and devour our financial future.

"Besides watching my husband slowly die, I have had to live on pins and needles riding the uncertainty of the economy."

After 21 years in her home, Kalman says she is down to her last financial resource — her husband's IRA, which has been decimated by the declining stock market. She's already refinanced the home three times.

She has no health insurance because she lost her job.

"I am scared," she says.

She's not alone.

A survey conducted by Evercare by UnitedHealthcare and the National Alliance for Caregiving concludes 43 percent of caregivers have taken a pay cut or have been forced to work fewer hours as a result of the recession.