Reflective tribute: Memorial honors 161 children who died at hospital

Scores of multicolored ribbons are now fluttering in the light spring breeze, a testament to the young lives that were lost and the lessons learned at Primary Children's Medical Center.

Drawn by memories of the 161 children who died at the hospital in the past year, dozens of family members, friends and hospital personnel gathered Sunday for a memorial service. They listened as the names and faces of their loved ones appeared on a video screen, with soft music, flowers and fountains in the background, and the name of each child was read.

Many dabbed at tears, pulled children close and reflected on memories that included medical battles won and lost, questions about the future and how to cope with the loss.

After musical and verbal tributes by hospital staff, the assembly followed a lone bagpiper outside onto the hospital's third-floor, open-air patio, where they clutched packets of "forget-me-not" seeds and tied ribbons to the wrought-iron fence.

Stacy Polanshek's son, Damien, had health problems before birth and her doctor had suggested an abortion, she said. "I refused. I said I'm going to fight until he is done fighting." The battle for his life went on for two years and two weeks, with the baby in and out of the hospital on a regular basis.

As he got weaker, she finally had to decide when his time had come, she said. "We let him go on Thanksgiving Day. It was way too soon," but after doctors had told her he wouldn't survive outside the womb, "every day was just a gift.

"I don't know whether it would have been harder to lose him at birth, or to get to know him and then lose him." She makes regular trips to the Mt. Calvary Cemetery where he's buried, trying to work through the grief that is with her daily, she said.

She keeps pictures close by and she and her family members kiss the photo of Damien she keeps logged into her cell phone memory each night. What would she tell other parents who may have a terminally ill child?

"Just don't ever give up hope. Just fight for your kids and do what you have to do."

Brad and Angie Bailey's baby, Brooklyn Mae, was born in St. George where the family lived and all seemed normal at first. But 36 hours later, a nurse found the baby had more than a heart murmur.

She and her mother were flown to Primary Children's, where doctors found six different heart defects and three blood clotting disorders. Brooklyn would endure eight surgeries in her 10 weeks of life, as her parents' lives turned upside down.