Frumpy Middle-Aged Mom: The dog ate my underwear. Really.

Usually, we like to know people for at least a couple of weeks before we show them our underwear.

But Buddy the Wonder Dog has other ideas.

Buddy just loves underwear.

And his favorite thing to do when he steals our unmentionables is to deposit them on the rug inside our front door.

What this means is, if you come to my house for dinner, and I'm not incredibly vigilant because, let's say, I'm cooking, when our front door opens, the first thing you might see is a pair of Cheetah Boy's boxers, or Curly Girl's bloomers.

In fact, you'll have to step over them to get into the house.

This is not necessarily the impression I want to create.

Maybe I should take Buddy to pick out some things at Victoria's Secret so at least the guests will think we're upscale.

On the other hand, everyone's seen Cheetah Boy's boxers anyway, since he insists on wearing his pants so low — at least until I notice and make him put on a belt.

Actually, I wish Buddy would also deposit the socks he steals at the front door. At least then we'd know where they are.

He steals socks, too, but he likes to hide those. This can be a problem, say, when the kids are looking for the socks that go with their team uniforms and the evil pooch has hidden them somewhere.

Oh, well, at least it's not a dinosaur bone. If you ever saw "Bringing Up Baby," you'd know what I'm talking about.

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Marla Jo Fisher was a workaholic before she adopted two foster kids several years ago. Now she juggles work and single parenting, while being exhorted from everywhere to be thinner, smarter, sexier, healthier, more frugal, a better mom, better dressed and a tidier housekeeper. Contact her at mfisherocregister.com. Read her blog at themomblog.freedomblogging.com/category/frumpy-middleaged-mom-ma rla-jo-fisher/.