Single Mormon Twentysomething on MormonTimes.com: Dealing with cold feet

You probably proposed in March or April. You set the date for sometime this summer. At first you were elated at the idea of your impending marriage, then you got stressed with weddings plans and apartment hunting. Sometime between the fifth and sixth draft of the wedding invitation, you got nervous. Nervousness turned to fear, fear turned to anxiety and finally you developed a full-on case of cold feet. Don’t call off the wedding just yet. Let’s talk this through, OK?The cold feet syndrome has plagued grooms-to-be ever since arranged marriages went out of style. You think you’re in love, you pop the question and then you start second-guessing yourself.Virtually every wedding Web site in existence includes an article about distinguishing between normal pre-wedding jitters and legitimate reasons to change your mind. For the nervous groom-to-be (Mormon and non-Mormon alike), I’ll include a basic summary.Good indicators you should call off the wedding:

• You’ve discovered your fiancée has a drug or alcohol problem
• Your fiancée has deceived you or cheated on you     
• You have serious differences of opinion when it comes to child-rearing
• You were pressured to rush into marriage faster than you wanted
• You’re only going through with the wedding because you’re too embarrassed to call it off, or you don’t want to waste all the money you’ve already spent

(Sources: www.stayhitched.com/coldfeet.htm andweddings.about.com/od/weddingstressmanagement/a/coldfeet.htm)Of course, the question becomes a little more complicated in the Mormon world where prayerfully seeking divine permission to pop the question is highly encouraged. When you start to get nervous about your wedding, it’s easy as a Latter-day Saint to wonder if those feelings constitute a “stupor of thought.” Since I’m not your priesthood leader, I can’t tell you what the Spirit is or isn’t telling you. But I can say that if you prayed about it before you proposed, and you got what you believed was a spiritual confirmation, don’t doubt it! If you are worried that your “confirmation” was actually just emotional, then pray again and ask for a priesthood blessing. I have learned from personal experience that anytime I am about to make a big decision that will please God and make me happier, Satan will try to fill my mind with doubt.In those situations, I think it’s best to follow Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s counsel: “With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence.'\"