There are a lot worse things than playing the Lakers, a franchise that this playoff-bound Jazz team would have to face anyway if they went deep into postseason play.

Worse things?

Being married to Mike Tyson, paying for tickets to see Britney Spears, or sailing as a Somali pirate.

The Jazz are not good enough, they say.

Outside the Celtics and Cavs, though, who is?

Man up and get this playoff thing going so the sooner everyone can do charity golf. At least somebody, anybody, display some positive energy. Is that asking too much?

There's always next year.

And that can be said every single year.

What of all this bemoaning those distressing Jazz traits they've shown, and this habitual losing at the end?

There are worse things. The shortfalls that befall the slumping Jazz are mostly curable, and some, aside for the defense, may even be fixable over a long weekend.

This Jazz team is burned out? Try having a spouse or kid with the Epstein Barr virus.

Angry? Watch somebody you love battle alcoholism or some other addiction.

Uninspired? Take on chemotherapy and the Big C. Try being blind or deaf for a day.

Heartless? Heart attack is the No. 1 killer of American men.

Lack of toughness? I've got friends with multiple sclerosis who go to work every day with numb fingers and toes.

No competitive drive? Locker room issues? Well, try to deal daily with a failing marriage, fighting over finances, quarreling with in-law issues and stressing over emotional bankruptcy in a loveless, tortured relationship.

Lack of effort? Visit a soup line.

The Jazz are soft? At least these guys get paychecks, have jobs and can stand upright and run and get paid to do so in fancy shorts. According to the latest official numbers, America's unemployment rate rose to 8.5 percent in March, the highest pace since November 1983.

Depleted by injuries, are these Jazz? We have 4,272 killed and 31,102 wounded in the Iraq war.

Yes, this is overplaying the point.

But that's just the point, drama kings.

The passionate Jazz fan has every reason to be frustrated and distressed.

So do the team's players.

But this regular-season conclusion at which the Jazzmen find themselves could be seen from far off and a very a long time ago.

That's what makes it kind of funny to turn on radio talk shows and absorb the level of brooding, doomsdayspeak, and the sense of alarm and panic that looms over playing the mighty Los Angeles Lakers, worrisome talk that surfaced weeks ago.

Misery sells.

There are worse things than playing the Lakers.

Can Utah beat L.A.? It's been done.

Are the Lakers invincible? Close to it.

So, why not use that as motivation, a matter of pride, and just get after the task at hand instead of looking for a shield to lie on before the battle begins?

Well, we like victimhood.

And this gives everyone a chance to wallow in it.

But while we're spending all this time lurching about, pitching to and fro in this castigation of the floundering Utah Jazz, just remember:

There are worse things than watching this basketball team get bucked about down the wire at the end and have to play the hallowed Los Angeles Lakers and his eminence, Kobe Bryant.

Start checking the list.

E-MAIL: dharmon@desnews.com