We need new revolution: Stop making orphans

Orphans are children without parents. Cruel early death used to sweep the mother and father away; now they just walk away. There is a new category of orphans: children with two living absent parents. I just saw a 1-year-old whose teenage mother had left him just two days before. The 15-year-old had never been able to be a mother and a child at the same time. Her distorted self-survival won out. The kid dad had dropped by once in a while, but he was better suited playing virtual video games than playing with his real son.

The creation of a new human being in the biological act only forms the cellular structures and musculoskeletal framework. It is the nurturing and socialization and emotional regulation that make a person. That task is built one touch, one whisper, one look at a time. It takes years, not the nanoseconds of conception. It demands presence; it obligates attention; it requires patience and time. The collapse of parental involvement is a tragedy for everyone. My frustration is not so much with the individuals, for each one has a story; it is in the general societal response that it is no big deal. It is like in basketball — if there is no blood; there's no foul.

I am here to tell you there is blood being splattered everywhere. Children grow up displaced and never truly safe. The gang "Bloods" substitute for the real bloodlines of missing family. Kids join gangs in search of parents.

When there is a baby born to a couple of children, either in age or maturity, I panic. I see enough struggles from the best-of-intended kids playing house that I fear when the times get tough and the young parents are incapable to be parents. While there are survivors of such situations, that doesn't mean there won't be wounds and scars that persist for the life of the unfortunate infant bystander.

With this newly minted orphan, where is he going to go to find his mother when she is not there? Willing and caring grandparents often will step in and do their best. They will try, as they reverse the biological order of life and become parents once more in their older years. They will clap at the kids' school performances and cheer at games. They will wave, but what if the child is unconsciously looking not for their smiles but for the face of his mother or father who are not there?

Humans imprint onto their major attachment figure at six months. After that, there is always the risk that without that individual, the child growing to adulthood will always be alone. They will be by themselves even in a crowd or while embraced by another. There will be a thirst for security that will go unquenched.