Babies are a silent demographic in today's society.

This may be due largely to the fact that most of them are incoherent and drool during 85 percent of their conversations.

I believe, however, there is a more immediate problem: Babies do not dress for success.

It's pretty hard to pay attention to an 8-month-old's thoughts on health-care reform when he is wearing a onesie featuring a green dinosaur growling, "Mommy's Little Monster."

You'd never catch Alan Greenspan or Lou Dobbs donning a graphic tee like this while analyzing the nation's economic forecast.

So listen up, babies, here are several of the outfit genres you need to avoid if you ever want to be taken seriously:

1. Costume Closet Ensembles — You can easily spot "costume babies" because they look as if they've gotten lost on the way to a Village People audition. Sometimes they are dressed as mini-cowboys, mini-surfer dudes or mini-NBA stars. Sadly, it's not just a casual reference to one of these professions but is rather a full-blown homage.

Cowboy babies, for example, will often have cowboy hats, boots and some type of fringe on their chaps. Girls will often be decked out in a full princess outfit, right down to the plastic stilettos and BeDazzled tiara.

Do not let clothing manufacturers fool you; it is not OK to dress for Halloween year-round.

2. Sassy Attire — If you've ever seen a baby and thought, "Wow, that 6-month-old has attitude," then you've seen a baby in a sassy outfit. These babies make wild statements like "Born to be Spoiled" or "Li'l Brat" on their T-shirts.

I'm very unlikely to engage in a conversation about rising fuel costs with a baby whose shirt reads, "Girls rule, boys drool" or "Diva in training." It's just not professional.

Now, not all such graphic tees are bad. My daughter, for example, loves to wear a onesie that says "tax deduction." This is less sass, however, and more a statement on her views on fiscal policy.

3. Ruffled Dresses — A word of advice to girl babies: If you can't fit the ruffles of your dress inside your car seat, you have too many.

I admit my daughter has been the victim of this particular fashion faux pas.

On the day of her baby blessing, it was hard to tell if there was a baby in her father's arms or just an enormous Mexican wedding dress. I'm almost 99 percent sure she was in there somewhere.