Moms: 9 to 5 to 9: Big Guy redefines dangers of Big Brother

So I was fixing lunch at 2 yesterday afternoon when Boots tugged at my shirt . "Mommy! Somebody sent us balloons."

"That's nice, babes," I said absently, figuring I was entitled to answer absently if it was 2 and I still hadn't had lunch. Besides, I figured he was talking about balloons that had floated to an overhead ledge in the living room during our Valentine's Day party and still were stuck there.

But a few minutes later, Big Guy said the same thing. "Where'd the balloons in the tree come from?"

Turns out, they were right. I finally looked out the kitchen window and saw two balloons bobbing in the breeze. They weren't even the cheap ones I usually buy. They were mylar like the guys beg for in the grocery store — a dog and a smiley face, both saying "Get Well."

Within 15 minutes, the original owner wasn't the only one who needed wishes for a speedy recovery. So did Boots, after Big Guy pulled off a classic evil older sibling caper.

Boots claimed the smiley face one first, before we'd even gone out to extricate them from the tree — he loves smiley faces right now, with a passion usually reserved only for Thomas or Wubbzy.

So of course Big Guy decided he wanted the smiley and proceeded to pout when I told him his brother had already claimed it. I pointed out that the other balloon had a "cute little beagle puppy just like Mawmaw's" and Big Guy appeared to be mollified.

Good thing there was a third, previously hidden balloon when we got outside. The deviousness lurking in Big Guy's little mind made it a necessity.

I walked outside to empty the garbage a few minutes after we'd gone back in, and Boots met me at the door in tears when I returned.

"Mommy! He broked my smiley balloon!"

"He told me to," Big Guy quickly countered.

More like, Big Guy tricked him into it. When I finally pieced together the story — Boots tattled but Big Guy confirmed — it turns out that Big Guy had asked Boots if he wanted to see if a pencil would pop the balloon.

"Sure!" Boots agreed, being only 3 and not able to realize what was about to happen.

What happened was "pop!" Like I said, good thing there were three balloons.