When couples divide both the work and worries there is a unity. If a husband is laboring side-by-side with his wife on the home jobs, there are two acting as one vanquishing the task. Care of kids, dishes or planning, when shared, go better. They also divide concerns so that when one is distressed the other can take upon them the same burdens to equal one.

The law of abandoning one to get one: 1 + 0 = 0 + 1 = 1

The ultimate gift to a partner is the giving up willingly and totally of self. This will only work if both give equally of themselves for the love of the other. It is the story by O'Henry of the wife who cuts her beautiful hair to sell in order to buy a chain for the much admired watch of her husband. He in his love sells the watch to buy combs for his wife's lovely locks. The great gifts were not the combs or the chain but the acts of sacrifice.

There are other equations of love that require a graduate course. They are the calculus of relationships: The square root of one (?1), The exponential of one (1n) and (n1) and more. Math is a language of love; too bad we all didn't pay better attention in geometry.

Joseph Cramer, M.D., is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics, practicing pediatrician for more than 25 years and an adjunct professor of pediatrics at the University of Utah. He can be reached at jgcramermd@yahoo.com.