Balancing fun, frugality can be a difficult chore
About a year ago in this column, I introduced you to a reader named Mike. He asked a question about his attempts to live a frugal lifestyle while watching friends and neighbors with similar incomes live more luxuriously and extravagantly.
That e-mail led to an ongoing series of columns about frugality and living within one's means.
Today, I'd like to tell you about a follow-up e-mail that I received from Mike. Again, he asked about something I've long struggled with myself, and I'm sure many of you have similar thoughts or concerns.
In this e-mail, Mike wanted to know how to balance a desire to save money and stay out of debt with his desire to enjoy sometimes-expensive experiences with his family.
"I acknowledge the fact that there are many things that families can do together that don't cost very much money," Mike wrote. "We have done so, and we continue to do so. However, the most memorable experiences I have had include the times that we did spend a significant amount of money. The expenditures have provided airline tickets and/or fuel to achieve a physical separation, and consequently a mental separation, from the drudgery of our typical day-to-day activities. This allows me to be there mentally and emotionally for my spouse and children in a way that is difficult to accomplish while surrounded by the trappings of home."
I think Mike is right. When I have a few days off at home, even though I'm spending time with my family, it's hard to be really disconnected from work and other responsibilities. When I'm out of town, I make that break much more easily.
"We all know what is most important. It is our families," Mike continues. "What strategies are out there, and what have others done to find balance in this area? It seems that financial reason goes out the door when held up against the importance of making memories. Surely I'm not the only one who has experienced this phenomenon.
"My comments on this subject would be incomplete without giving credit to my wonderful wife, who acts as a great balancing force. If it was up to me, we'd probably never go on vacation, never do anything as a family that costs more than $5, but my children would have lots of memories of doing yard work together as a family. Instead, we have countless memories of trips to Disneyland, Sea World, Bear Lake and Lagoon to name a few… I would particularly enjoy hearing feedback from parents of children who are grown, and those who may be enjoying retirement. How did they balance these conflicting necessities when they were raising families? What regrets do they have? What advice do they have?"
Recent comments
For those of us of moderate family size and apparently less means, we...
JediToby | Feb. 4, 2009 at 11:32 a.m.
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