Carl's Jr. bids blasted bowl 'bye'

CENTERVILLE — Christian Martinez is holding onto hope. He's doing the best he can, considering he lost one of his most hard-working and reliable employees.

Dressed all in black, Martinez, general manager of the Centerville Carl's Jr., held a memorial service for the employee who quietly performed the most thankless of tasks, the employee known only as John.

"I spent a lot of quality time alone with John," Martinez said solemnly.

Rumors of an open- or closed-lid ceremony couldn't be confirmed, but Martinez said John was laid to rest privately, presumably to protect the privacy of the departed.

After all, it was privacy that got John dispatched.

Some call it a tragic accident: A concealed-weapon-carrying patron dropped his gun on the floor before leaving John's stall. The gun went off and John, a Kohler 1.6-gallon-per-flush toilet, was blown to bits.

"May he rest in pieces, I mean peace," Martinez said.

Martinez was in the restaurant when the toilet exploded Jan. 15.

"Poor John was all over the place," he said.

After a couple of hours, a replacement toilet was installed, affectionately named John Jr.

So far, John Jr. is quietly doing his job in the men's washroom, Martinez said, adding he hasn't heard any complaints.

Swirling with emotions, about 50 people and local media attended services Friday to pay their respects to the unsung hero. By 10:30 a.m., Martinez had given those patrons a parting gift, one bottle each of Kaboom Bowl Blaster toilet cleaner, John's favorite.

Centerville resident Chris Baxter, who visits Carl's Jr. on a weekly basis, said he had also spent a lot of time with John.

"He was very supportive," Baxter said. "He did his job."

David Swanson, a Roto-Rooter employee, stopped by to pay his respects, as well.

"I was deeply saddened," Swanson said, adding that he didn't think anything could have been done to resuscitate John after the terrible shooting. "It's the most tragic one I've seen."

Flower bouquets adorned the restaurant's counter Friday, including one from Carl's Jr.'s corporate office.

"Dearest sympathies. We'll miss John," the note stated.

E-mail: jdougherty@desnews.com