The Movie Masochist: Lose Seven Pounds,' keep sanity

Forget for a moment that "Seven Pounds" is supposed to be entertainment simply because it's a movie. It utterly fails in that regard. It could, however, be seen as an act of public service.

First, let's address "Seven Pounds" as a movie, which is what its distributors choose to call it. The story — although this word may be dropped in favor of "what happens on screen" — follows a man (Will Smith) who feels terrible about something. We know this because the movie keeps jumping back to him sitting teary-eyed near the ocean. For much of the movie's two hours, he commits acts of generosity for no apparent reason with a sense of friendly intrusion that borders on creepy. He also has a deadly jellyfish in his motel room.

He strikes up a relationship with a woman (Rosario Dawson) whose life is threatened by a congenital heart defect. He intrudes into other people's lives, trying to fix them. Sometimes he loses his temper and runs down the street.

All of this comes together, to little effect, in the film's closing minutes. Audiences may rightly feel angry at this point because they've devoted two hours to a mess that's really a maudlin Hallmark Hall of Fame movie in disguise.

It's more generous, then, to consider "Seven Pounds" as an instrument of education and escape.

The reasons for this are as follows:

1. For anyone wondering what senility will be like, "Seven Pounds" offers a helpful preview. Jumping back and forth in time among numerous characters, the movie offers one inexplicable situation after another, each time leaving the audience wondering how they arrived there, who this person is and why this or that is important. Plus, just like real life, each situation is grindingly dull.

2. People who hate their jobs should also take note of "Seven Pounds." In the course of a miserable day, many people often feel they need naps just to survive until evening. "Seven Pounds" is a mostly quiet movie, with characters speaking in hushed tones to let the audience know this is a film of great sensitivity and import. That makes it ideal for naps, provided one can steal away from work and isn't daunted by paying $6-plus for the privilege of sitting in a dark room.