Afterthoughts

The following New Year's predictions were scientifically arrived at in collaboration with my personal astrologer, who is currently vacationing on the planet Neptune.

Digital Conversion Day, Feb. 17, 2009, will be ignored by millions of people at their computers who haven't watched television since 1992.

Bernie Madoff will attend his high school reunion. In his yearbook, he was named most likely to succeed at robbing his classmates blind.