Holidays are tough for families of missing children

Published: Tuesday, Dec. 23, 2008 12:22 a.m. MST
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It had been 27 years, and their loss was just as heartbreaking as ever. At last, John and Reve Walsh had the answer they desperately wanted and at the same time dreaded. A drifter named Ottis Toole killed and decapitated their son Adam, then 6 years old.

There will be no charges or trial because Toole died in prison in 1996, serving a sentence for an unrelated homicide. The rest of Adam's remains have never been recovered.

Even where there are answers there are loose ends. The family will try to cope as it has for more than two and one-half decades.

Walsh, host of "America's Most Wanted," has devoted his life to helping find missing children and perpetrators of child abuse. He plans to continue that work.

As much as it was healing for the Walshes to close this chapter of their lives, my mind wandered as I watched the press conference to announce the case had been closed. My thoughts were with Utahns who are still waiting for answers about their missing loved ones. According to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children Web site, 18 Utahns are missing, some missing so long that they're presumed to be adults now.

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Among them is Garrett Bardsley, who disappeared the summer of 2004 during a Scout camping trip in the Uinta Mountains. He was 12 at the time. Another is Kiplyn Davis, missing since 1995, and last seen at her high school, eight blocks from her home in Spanish Fork. She was 17 when she was reported missing.

I also thought of a person not on the Web site, Debra Kent, who was last seen walking from the Viewmont High School auditorium to the school parking lot on Nov. 8, 1974. She is believed to have been a victim of serial killer Ted Bundy, but her remains have not been found.

The holidays are a difficult season for many people. They are particularly hard for anyone mourning the loss of a loved one because so many traditions center on family gatherings.

But it must be worse for those who don't know the whereabouts of their loved ones. As John Walsh explains, "The not knowing has been a torture . . . ."

I do not know how parents move on under these circumstances. John Walsh advises parents of missing children not to give up hope.

Incredibly, some children are found alive years after they have been abducted. Forensic sciences have advanced light years in the event human remains are recovered.

Some of these discoveries were made possible by the Walshes' tireless advocacy work. They have channeled their pain into helping others. Other parents of missing children such as Ed Smart and Kevin Bardsley have done the same. It makes sense that they help in this capacity for only they know what it's like "not to know."

If I could give any gift this season, it would be to give these families peace of mind. Some of these parents will never know what has happened to their child. Others may someday know, and if statistics are to be believed, the outcomes will be tragic.

For now, they and others who know loss in their lives must shoulder on during the season of things merry and bright. May God grant them the strength to do so.

Marjorie Cortez, who wishes peace and comfort to all who read this column, is a Deseret News editorial writer. E-mail her at Marjorie@desnews.com

Recent comments

May God Bless all the families of these missing children. May these...

Ms. Armstrong | Dec. 24, 2008 at 2:39 p.m.

This is a very poignant and sensitive column. Well written. Peace.

Thanks, Ms. Cortez | Dec. 23, 2008 at 11:51 a.m.

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