Dear Santa: Utah politicos have Christmas wishes

Because we are on the "nice" list (boy, do we have Santa fooled), we were allowed to see what Utah politicos are hoping Santa drops in their oversize stockings this holiday (oops, Christmas) season.

Utah legislators: Hoping for passage of a broad, comprehensive ethics reform package ... right after they retire.

Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr.: Hoping Santa brings an interpreter trained in the archaic language of "Utah legislatorspeak" and "legislator body language" to assist him in understanding their strange dialect and habits they exhibit around him, especially common use of phrases like "We dare you," "Make my day!" "Go to H-E-double-toothpicks" and their use of the middle finger when pointing to numbers in his budget proposal.

Republican legislative leaders: Hoping Santa brings them a special session in the next several days so they can get a jump on balancing the state's budget. Also hoping holiday cheer will help Gov. Huntsman forget his enormous 78 percent election win so he isn't effective in using his mandate to dominate the upcoming legislative session and punish his detractors.

Republican senators: Hoping Santa brings a muzzle for Sen. Chris Buttars' mouth.

Senate Democrats: Hoping for a guidebook to interpret the mysteries of working with Republicans, now needed because of the departure of longtime leader Mike Dmitrich.

House Republicans: Hoping for a Urim and Thummim to decipher the deep inscrutability and obfuscations of new Senate President Michael Waddoups.

Conservative Caucus members: Hoping Santa (or the Grinch) brings bad state revenue projections, because there is no greater joy than whacking the budget.

House Democrats: Hoping for an opportunity to play the role of "Dr. Phil" in mediating the fracas between legislative Republicans and Gov. Huntsman, especially through reaching the inner child in all of them.

Moderate Republican lawmakers: A sincere hope that former Speaker Greg Curtis becomes a lobbyist (vengeance awaits).

Utah Democrats: Hoping that no one in the state forgets the federal government is now entirely controlled by Democrats ("by golly, we are now relevant, sort of!").

Congressman Jim Matheson: Hoping Santa reminds Utah liberals to stop their whining and come to grips with the fact that he's the best they're gonna get.

Contenders lining up for the potential Fourth Congressional District in 2009: Hoping that the U.S. Congress continues to ignore the Constitution.