You've got a friend — and a lot more — in Facebook

A few months ago I decided to join the present and open a Facebook account, where I nearly daily receive and send "friend" requests. It's a nice feeling. They like me, they really like me. Or at least they're not ashamed to say they know me.

It's also kind of a weird place to hang out, and I'm still picking my way through some of this virtual friendship stuff. It has me thinking more about what's real, what's imaginary and what it all means for the future of human contact.

Online sites like Facebook and MySpace have status update areas, where you write a quick little something about yourself. Lois is grumpy or reading a book or planning a coup.... Some of my friends are diligent about updating what they're doing. That's how I knew one of them had just made fudge and I managed to finagle some the next day, delivered by my daughters, who see her daughters at school. Ah, sugary bliss.

When I wrote "Lois is recovering from a fall after my ancient cat and I had a tripping incident," I had 16 expressions of concern within the hour.

My favorite thing on Facebook is the ability to shoot a quick message to my niece, who is one of my favorite people in the entire universe but does not live near. We wander cyberspace late at night and instant message each other. It's a quick chat that suits us both.

There are things that make me uneasy, as well.

One of my colleagues quotes a Drug Enforcement Agency friend who says that the things people reveal online — where they're so readily available to strangers — is insane. You write about your kids and post their pictures and talk about their school and he says that makes the kids vulnerable. You could counter that you can restrict access to your friends. But the reality is that every day I see the comments people I don't know have made to people in my friend list. Friends of friends of friends, on my "news feed."

One of my pals has an adorable granddaughter who has been flirting with two-footed mobility. She asked her daughter-in-law if the baby had taken that crucial first step yet. "I wrote about it on Facebook," she was told. "Didn't you read my post?"

She's supposed to learn about her granddaughter's first step on the Internet?

I'm fine with Facebook as an enhancement to communication, a fun way to see quickly that my friend who left for law school is now embroiled in finals. I am less charmed by the concept of Facebook as the primary way we share information with each other. I don't like it as a replacement for actual conversation. That reduces human communication to an endless, though bite-sized Christmas letter.