He ran to the plaster, saw it had already hardened and became momentarily inconsolable (no more plaster, no completed project). Just then the younger brother in question saw the hardened plaster, heard the elder son's plight and began to tear up.

After I expressed my condolences on the plaster, I left to put in another load of laundry. Suddenly, there was a sound of sweetness. I peeked in the room to see my eldest son hugging my younger son and telling him that it was all right and that it feels better to tell the truth. The middle son was quietly adding epithets such as, "We're proud of you for telling the truth ... just don't go getting a big head or anything."

As I realized my youngest had spilled the beans and was the Cider Cypher, I recognized two amazing outcomes from this experience.

One, how vital it is that we allow our children to work things out in their own way more often. And how surprisingly compassionate and sweet my boys could be.

At the appropriate moment, my husband and I entered the room and shared how proud we were of them all, and life went back to the regular rhythm. My husband and I turned to leave and smiled at each other. Another magical parenting success that appropriately did not require us as parents.

LIFE tip: When faced with family discord, allow children to try working it out together first.

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