"I've seen people out there driving, putting on makeup and talking on the cell phone — all three at once," said my buddy Ed Murrell, a counselor at Hunter High. "They forget they're driving a 2,000-pound machine 70 miles per hour. Fortunately, they were all wearing seat belts; otherwise, they're doing Superman out the front window if they ever hit anything."

The scary thing is that the cell phone might be the least of driver distractions, reports my friend Gary Bowen, CFO at Ogio. "I've seen people reading books propped up on the steering wheel," he told me.

The best expert on the subject I could find was Howard Reynolds, vice president of Pride Trucking and my neighbor. Sometimes Howard takes one of the big rigs out on the road himself. Nobody knows about life on the road more than truckers, which is why I called him seven years ago for a column I was writing about multi-tasking drivers. I called him again Monday. He's seen so many weird things out there on the road that cell phones don't even make the list.

"I've seen everything," he says. That includes, but is not limited to, drivers removing hair curlers, typing on laptops, watching TV, applying makeup, crimping eyelashes, having sex, shaving, drivers and passengers trading seats, eating, disciplining children, brushing teeth, changing clothes (an entire outfit), giving themselves manicures, reading books and newspapers.

"We see the makeup thing every day," he says. "They steer with their knee and use the mirror to put on the makeup. Some of them attach a mirror to the visor."

So what do we learn from these observations and studies? Pull over if you have to talk. Oh, and help stop global warming: Eat a cow.

---

Doug Robinson's column runs on Tuesdays. E-mail: drob@desnews.com.