In her book "My Grandfather's Blessings," Rachel Naomi Remen tells of a young couple with the wife in the throes of childbirth. She was having a most difficult time, and despite her exhaustion and pain, she would not submit to surgery for the delivery.

The young man left the delivery room to speak with his father, a long-ago immigrant from Mexico who spoke little English. The father, after some serious thought, said some words in Spanish to his young son, and with an encouraging embrace, sent him back to the delivery room where the young mother delivered a son after three great pushes.

When Dr. Remen asked what the father had said to his son, the reply was: "He had heard about his daughter-in-law's fear, and he had also felt the fear in his son, Miguel. So he had known that the baby, too, was afraid. And so, sitting alone in the waiting room, he had spoken with his grandchild in his mind, encouraging him to come and be born."

The story goes on to tell the lovely memories this man shared and finally, to quote, " He had offered the baby his heart. And the baby had come."

This was a man who was wise and full of love for his family.

There is such a wonderful connectedness to life that stretches its fingers into every part of what we see, what we do and who we are.

As I rest awhile and watch my screensaver flash picture after picture of friends and family, I wonder, is it the familiarity of their faces, or is it old souls touching that seem to lighten my day and make me smile at the memories of times shared?

The French philosopher Simone Weil believed, "To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul." I share that belief.

It seems the larger our family grows, the more desire there is to be part of their lives, and the need is strongly felt to pass on the rituals of our family, to intertwine with their other family members and friends.

It is a responsibility that cannot be taken lightly. There was a reason and purpose that we were selected to be a family. It is important to keep these ties as strong as possible, because family is the only glue that sticks. It is through our families that the most treasured parts of us are discovered.

As author Jane Howard tells us, "Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."

Considering the season, it is not unusual to have family on the mind, whether it is great joy knowing we will see them, or sadness that we will miss them, or dread of the chaos to come.

George Burns joked, "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family ... in another city." Ogden Nash called family a unit composed not only of children but also of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."

Whatever the situation or the feelings, this is the time of the year for gathering. It won't matter whether it is in a small apartment or a mansion or whether we eat tortillas or turkey, as long as we share with friends and family.

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E-mail: sasyoung2@aol.com