I sat down this week to write a sugary-sweet column about all the things I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving season.

The only problem was the only things that came to mind were all the things I'm most definitely NOT thankful for this year as a mother.

So maybe I'm a little cynical — or just a little fed up — but here are a couple of the things that top my ingratitude list this year:

• The nursing bra: I have no doubt the nursing bra was invented by a man. More akin to a medieval torture device than underwear, the nursing bra is a contraption designed so you can whip out your breast at any moment like you're in an old-fashioned gun battle. One, two, three ... draw. Only in this game, no one gets shot.

And unless you can spend $60 on a nursing bra, the wires will poke you, the material will warp and you will fumble awkwardly for 20 minutes before actually being able to "discreetly" breastfeed.

• Adult-proof baby toys: Opening any child's toy makes me feel like a moron. Everything is triple-sealed in industrial strength plastic, wound with wires and glued into cardboard. And when you do manage to extract the toy, there's a 45-page manual, 50 screws and sometimes even a small man that just stands there and laughs at you.

Yesterday it took me an hour to put together a stroller for my daughter's baby doll. But I finally outsmarted the Fisher Price people: I had four screws leftover that I didn't even need. Ha, who's the moron now?

• Useless parenting magazines: Every month I get an unsolicited parenting magazine that shall remain nameless. I always sit down with this magazine, excited to become a better parent. But each month, all I get is less-than-helpful morsels, such as "make sure you get enough sleep" and how to make your own scrapbooking paper out of twine and toilet paper.

The magazine also features beautiful mommies and their equally gorgeous children laughing and rolling around on a white carpet together to illustrate how wonderful motherhood should be. Sometimes my husband finds me furiously shredding the magazine with my teeth.

But motherhood hasn't made me a total cynic. There are a few things that I am extremely thankful for this Thanksgiving season:

• Girls nights: Nothing helps me get through a day of public tantrums and dried Play-doh on the carpet better than a night of inappropriate conversation with the girls.