Mom-does-nothing week proves to be rousing success

I'm not sure if you experience this phenomenon as I do, but cyclically (perhaps in conjunction with the moon, tides or school term) there is an increase in complaining at my house.

In fact, I feel unfairly subjected to comments DIRECTED AT ME such as, "This totally stinks," "I have more chores than (insert name) does" and, my personal favorite, "But I only get to play on PlayStation on the weekends, can't you do it for me?"

Now what my children don't understand is that the more they complain, the more I am doing my job. In the words of Merilee Boyack in "The Parenting Breakthrough," "There is a certain element to kids' work that I believe is absolutely crucial to the normal development of our children and the normal evolution of the family. That element is: grumbling."

However, normal or not, a few weeks ago, I had reached my limit and said in lovely, dulcet tones, "FAMILY COUNCIL, PRONTO."

It was decided, by a completely democratic process ("because mom says") that the coming week would be a mom-does-nothing week. This would allow said children to experience more fully the daily joys of being a mother (and become aware of the easy life of being a child).

The goal here was to have my children lead out rather than be assistants. Rather than HELP with chores, they did them — grody, disgusting jobs and all. Rather than HELP with dinner, they each took a night to cook, and we prayed fervently over what was served. And rather than HELP with the laundry, they did it from start to finish, every day, regardless of soccer practices.

Two things occurred in this experiment that surprised me greatly. First was the increased energy I had from not doing all the big work that makes up a great deal of my daily do's. It was liberating to walk into the laundry room, stop and turn back around, realizing the boys were to do it. It was refreshing to read a book for half an hour knowing that not only was dinner being prepared but that my children were learning important life skills (how not to kill each other while cooking a meal).

And it was inspiring to experience the second surprise, that my children are quite capable.

Though I had thought this would be a week of, "Wow, will THEY miss mom," it actually became an eye-opener for me of "Wow, how much they can DO." I realized, with a twinge, that in some ways they — especially the older children — didn't need me like they used to. And I realized that I actually enjoy baking yummy after-school snacks and doing "helper" chores as a surprise for them while they are at school.