From Deseret News archives:
BYU professor stays strong in Catholic faith
For 31 years she has been married to an active Mormon (a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)
Both are chemistry professors at LDS Church-owned Brigham Young University, and both practice their individual faiths.
Boerio-Goates, for instance, was born and raised in a Catholic family. She attended Catholic schools and is an active member of her Orem congregation. She has worked closely with the past two Catholic bishops of Salt Lake City as a member of an diocesan advisory council. Her husband, Steven R. Goates, is a returned LDS missionary and a high priest.
Their marriage has been strengthened because of their differing beliefs, said Boerio-Goates. And that's not to say it's been easy, but rather, that faith has helped them work through challenges and try harder to make their marriage thrive.
"We pray together almost every day," she said. "The fact we both believe in a God who is loving and merciful has helped us get through difficult times and it has colored how we look at things."
The couple met during the summer of 1974 while interns at IBM in Vermont. They dated long distance for about two years, finished undergraduate degrees in chemistry, then agreed to attend graduate school in Michigan together. They married a year later in the chapel at Seton Hill College in Pennsylvania, the campus where Boerio-Goates received her undergraduate degree.
In 1982, the couple moved to Orem after accepting positions in the chemistry department at BYU. They brought a young daughter with them and then a few years later, had a son.
Growing up, the kids attended both Catholic Mass and LDS services: Mom's church one week, Dad's the next, but the couple wasn't rigid about keeping track of whose week it was, said Boerio-Goates. For example, if there were a Primary program at her husband's LDS ward, the kids went with him for a few weeks to practice songs and speaking parts.
They agreed at the outset of their marriage to always be open with their children about their beliefs and "deal honestly" with questions about how members of the Catholic and LDS faiths differ.
It hasn't always been easy.
Boerio-Goates said it hurts to watch other families all go up together to take Holy Communion. Her family can't. And her husband struggles with the fact they're not married in an LDS temple.
"There is wisdom in the council of marrying within the faith," said Boerio-Goates. "It's not something we would ever recommend."
But they make it work.
