Rock on...

A working plan

The famous Cotton Bowl — sporting a $57 million upgrade — has impressed a lot of people. But not Sooner fan Paula Wilson, who was at the Oct. 11 Texas-Oklahoma game.

"It's too tight to sit down " she told the Dallas Morning News, after checking out one of 16,000 new seats.

She added, "Come on, this is America. We aren't little people. We are fat."

Since she put it that way, how about this: Next time someone decides to remodel a stadium, they should consider super-sizing the seats, American style.

That way we can keep right on super-sizing our combo meals.

And you thought Americans didn't know how to fix problems anymore ...

Zoned out

Just in case you still have money to burn after the market meltdown, here's a way to waste the rest of it: Buy the Texas Stadium end zone.

The Dallas Cowboys have put theirs up for sale with Neiman Marcus for a cool half-million. The lucky buyer gets luxury suite VIP treatment at the last Cowboys' game in the stadium, photos with the owner and a tailgating party on the field.

Then he/she gets to take it all home and install it in the back yard.

Sources say an offer has already been logged by the Oakland Raiders, who just wanted to see what an end zone looks like.

G-mac attack

He may seem a long shot to make the Jazz roster, but former Syracuse guard Gerry McNamara is a big deal.

How big? There's a bobblehead of him on the desk of Dwight Schrute in the smash TV show "The Office."

It goes like this: McNamara is from Scranton, where the show takes place, and thus the local hero's likeness landed on the set.

So don't be disrespecting G-Mac.

He may not make the NBA, but he'll be starring on reruns long after fellow sharpshooters Kyle Korver and Mehmet Okur are gone.

The crypt keeper

Utah coach Kyle Whittingham is suggesting the Utes copy several other teams by planting gravestones to mark victories over high-profile opponents.