working at Judge, but often those who need it most would never consider attending.

"I don't dissect games anymore," she said. "That's all counterproductive anyway. It's totally for us (parents); I know that."

Cross country dad Justin Losee said he put the advice on the back burner because he didn't want to damage his relationship with his son.

"You want to see them be successful," he said of why critiquing our children is so tempting. "I want to see them do better than I did. I want them to learn from mistakes I made and be more successful."

Cartwright said some of those parents who've attended the seminar have tried to teach the other parents about it. Sometimes that works; sometimes it doesn't.

"The bad stuff can be contagious," she said. "Once one person starts yelling, then I guess you feel like you have permission."

Both parents said they want their children involved in sports because there are so many valuable lessons to be learned through competition.

One of the lessons sports teaches, said Thomas, is what to do when confronted with adversity. He cited studies that said there are usually four ways people deal with adverse conditions:

1. They blame someone else.

2. They deny it's a problem.

3. They escape — through isolation and withdrawal.

4. They throw a pity party.

"And when we throw a party, we want to invite all our friends over to feel sorry for us," said Thomas. "Adversity is necessary for growth. It keeps us balanced and sometimes it maintains our humility."

DelPorto said the first year Judge held a PCA class for parents, only seven people showed up. This year there were about 30. He believes that, over time, it will change the culture at the high school. Cartwright agrees that the expectations for parents have changed for the better.

In the end, Thomas said, parents can make the difference for a child struggling with whether or not to push through a difficult time or give up on the games.

"Many athletes don't succeed because they don't know how to bounce back from mistakes," Thomas said. "And the one thing we all have in common is that we're not perfect."

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E-mail: adonaldson@desnews.com