High school sports: Dad, mom must make sports fun

The parents sat at tables in the library at Judge Memorial Catholic High School and studied the booklets in front of them.

They'd been asked by Joe Thomas, a presenter for the Positive Coaching Alliance, to divide 100 points among the rewards they hoped their children might gain from playing sports.

Not surprisingly, the No. 1 pick was the hope that their children would have fun participating in high school sports.

Thomas then cited a 1985 study that said 70 percent of the children who play youth sports drop out by age 13. The reason those children quit, he said, was because they weren't enjoying the games anymore.

"Once it becomes like a job," he said, "they lose their motivation."

And then he asked the parents, all of whom voluntarily showed up to learn how to support their children in their athletic endeavors, to consider whether their behavior supported the way they'd divided those points.

"We have a tendency once that ball is thrown out there to forget all about the other lessons we wanted our kids to learn," he said. "We just focus on winning."

Judge administrators have worked with officials from the Positive Coaching Alliance for the last three years in hopes of doing more than encouraging good sportsmanship.

"We hope working with the Positive Coaching Alliance will help define our athletic programs a little more," said Bulldog athletic director Dan DelPorto. "It gives our coaches a model to follow."

DelPorto said it also teaches specific ways parents, players and coaches can focus on what's most important in high school athletics. During two days, Judge administrators and PCA trainers work with coaches, players and parents in separate seminars. They discuss why competition is important and how to try and win games without losing the life-transforming lessons sports teach young people.

"Competition is important," Thomas told the parents. "We all know they're going to have to learn to compete — for jobs, etc., for the rest of their lives."

He said the biggest obstacle coaches and parents face in teaching the value of sports is that young people are most influenced by professional athletes.

"They are bombarded by the win-at-all-costs culture," Thomas said. "But the difference between professional sports and youth and high school sports is that pro sports are entertainment. Youth and high school sports are educational. ... We need to model better behavior for our children."

Deborah Cartwright is a soccer mom. Her husband attended the PCA seminar for parents last year, and this year she decided to come. She said she feels the program is working at Judge, but often those who need it most would never consider attending.