Horrors of active service plague many vets long after the return home

Ronda huddled in her room crying, and afraid.

Before her husband locked her in, he gave her detailed instructions on how to escape should the intruder find her. Then, with his gun in hand, he methodically cleared each room in their Utah home, only to return and report that nobody had broken in and they were safe.

What he didn't know, however, that she wasn't afraid of the intruder.

She was afraid of him.

The couple married just one week before he was mobilized as an individual reservist with an extensive Special Forces background. He was deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan, and life since his return has been difficult.

Once lighthearted, her husband, B.W. (his full name is not being used at the request of the family), was angry, impatient and often had nightmares. He regularly cleared the house, searching for intruders, covered the windows of their condo with tinfoil on a Hawaiian vacation and decided to sell their house, on impulse, during a trip to Home Depot because he couldn't handle the lights and noise of the city.

"I didn't know if he had an on-off switch, and I couldn't tell if he was awake," Ronda said. She worried about the outcome if someone did break into their home at night, especially if that "intruder" was just one of his adult sons who needed something.

Additionally, her husband is always busy. "He can't sit still; he can't rest," she said. "He tells me that 'if I am idle I can't stand myself."'

This went on for a year and a half. Ronda started doing some research, and believing he was experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, she asked him to get help.

"It was hard to tell him, but I had to try to bring him back to where I was, as a civilian," Ronda said.

Marnee Price had a similar story after her husband, Warren, returned from a 14-month tour of duty in Iraq. Within three or four months, she noticed he was often angry, or tired, and lost all desire to do anything. The couple fought constantly, although she chose to blame the stress at his work.

"For a while, it would just hurt," Marnee said. "We avoided each other because you never knew what was going to come out of his mouth."

Marnee, who has four children and does day care in her home, learned that she had to keep the children as quiet as possible to prevent triggering a burst of anger. He also started to push their friends away with his anger.