My sister's marriage is destroyed. My marriage is over. While my sister and I do our best to cope, Jack and Jill are having the time of their lives playing house while I pay for it. My relationship with my children is being undermined, and I don't know what to do. — Beside Myself in Norfolk

Dear Beside Yourself: I understand your frustration, but your ability to dictate who comes to the house and spends time with your wife — and by extension, your children — ended when you moved out. For your own sake, I strongly recommend you schedule a meeting with the legal counsel who is representing you in your divorce and set up a regular schedule of visitation with your children. But the sooner you understand that you can't stop Jill from entertaining whomever she pleases in her dwelling, the better off you will be.

P.S. Your sister also has my sympathy, but what's going on now should be a clue that she'll be better off without him.

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