What politicos say — and what they mean

The conventions have ended, the kids are back at school and the political season is in the home stretch. As a service to our readers, we hereby provide the 2008 installment of what politicos are saying — and what they really mean:

A majority of Utah Democrats: "We will only support a state leader who challenges the Legislature, takes strong stands to protect the environment, defends the poor, lowers sales taxes on food and is working to modernize liquor laws." ("Uh-oh, we are voting for Jon Huntsman Jr.")

Utah Republicans: "Gov. Sarah Palin is a wonderful choice for John McCain; she will add much to the ticket." ("It should have been Mitt Romney, and if McCain loses he deserves it.")

Mitt Romney: "Gov. Palin has energized the party and will make a great vice president." ("McCain chose this no-name lightweight from Alaska over me? Incredible!")

John McCain: "I selected Gov. Palin because she is the best qualified person to be vice president." ("I looked at the poll numbers and threw a Hail Mary pass to energize the conservative base.")

Gov. Huntsman: "My opponent is a strong candidate, and I expect a tough campaign. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I look forward to the debates." ("By the way, what is his name?")

Democratic gubernatorial candidate Bob Springmeyer: "I am invigorated by the opportunity to communicate my views to so many Utahns." ("Either listen to me or I will continue to spam you to death."

Gov. Huntsman: "My only plan is to serve the people of Utah for another four years." ("My bags are packed for Washington if McCain calls.")

Progressive Utah candidates: "It is imperative that we reform our government and change how business is conducted." ("I have no idea what the voters really want.")

Lots of ambitious young Republicans: "Orrin Hatch and Bob Bennett are terrific senators who give our state a lot of clout in Congress." ("It's high time for those tired old fogeys to retire and let the younger generation take over!")

Eager young Democrats: "Obama has energized a new generation of Utah voters, and the political dynamics in Utah are changing." ("Do we really have any future?")

Democratic "Community Organizers": "We are outraged at the racist, discriminatory attacks against our profession by Republicans." ("Wow, for the first time we are getting attention in the media.")