From Deseret News archives:

Ready to wed

Faiths urge couples to prepare for marriage

Published: Saturday, Sept. 6, 2008 1:26 a.m. MDT
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For the most part, Scott Stanley with the University of Denver believes premarital training can allow a couple to recognize potential issues and also discuss topics they may be avoiding. He said couples in modern society often make major relationship decisions without truly knowing their partner.

Training can "especially help couples clarify whether they are a good fit or a good match, just by allowing them to deal with issues and expectations and who they are and where they come from," Stanley said.

And a faith-based approach can hit home because it is done within the framework of a person's major motivational system, he said.

Carroll, however, adds the caution that no studies exist about the long-term benefits of training and advises couples to seek constant tune-ups.

For members of the Episcopal Church, premarital training is required as part of the canons, or rules or the church, according to the Rev. Canon Mary June Nestler, canon for ministry formation of the Episcopal Diocese of Utah.

Specifics of that training, however, are left up to individual clergy members. When the Rev. Nestler used to meet with couples, she would require them to visit an attorney to discuss the legalities of the marriage contract they were making. Other clergy members discuss things such as marital expectations, family issues, children, money and sex, in addition to more faith-specific topics.

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"We take very seriously the preparation and instruction of couples about what Christian marriage is about and also what the general expectations of marriage are in our country," the Rev. Nestler said.

Within the Catholic tradition, training is also required, according to Veola Burchett, family and pro-life director for the Catholic Diocese of Salt Lake. While each priest can use his discretion in meeting with couples and deciding what they need to do to be prepared for marriage, those couples are required to learn about the sacred nature of marriage and how it is a sacrament within the faith, Burchett said.

In general, most couples married in the Catholic church have four to six months of marriage preparation, according to Burchett. Some meet biweekly with the priest, while others meet once a month.

"The priests tell me, when they sign that marriage certificate, they themselves are saying yes to the union," Burchett said. "They're putting their reputation on the line."

Recent comments

Calm down. I'm pretty sure they aren't getting anything from...

Re: Re:Theortically | Sept. 8, 2008 at 12:50 p.m.

Most couples spend more time planning the wedding than they do...

longtimereader | Sept. 7, 2008 at 5:45 p.m.

I'll buy the book! Woo hoo! Thanks for the great article. I wouldn't...

Ang | Sept. 6, 2008 at 11:36 p.m.

Image

The Rev. Steve Goodier, center, talks with Tom and Marcie Conner. They are preparing to renew their marriage vows in celebration of their 10-year anniversary.

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