Sometimes it's OK for women to not be right

I've been thinking lately about the dreaded subject of why we women feel the need to be right.

Yes, I know that some women feel that our being often, very frequently right is more of a gift than a need, but I see myself giving in to this belief and wonder why? Because just when I think I'm completely right, justified, and in all ways covered, I completely misjudge an entire situation, person or outfit.

This brings to mind my experience with Edna. Years ago, one stressful visit to Wal-Mart found me with several small children and two carts stuffed full of my then-yearly shopping event. Though I'd kept my baby entertained with small trinkets throughout, we were all on our last nerve.

After purchasing, and upon exiting with our carts, there came an annoying beep signaling something amiss with my items. Edna the Wal-Mart uber-checker came over and asked me for my list and began slowly checking EVERY single item. My baby began howling; the kids were done, and I had had it.

I turned to her and said in an exceedingly crisp tone, "There isn't anything stolen in these carts. I DON'T STEAL. Can we please go?"

Sweet, mollified Edna let me pass.

As I loaded the children in the car I felt a small feeling of triumph that I had been right to be assertive about my honesty. That was until I got home, removed my daughter from her car seat, and found one of the said trinkets hidden and therefore unpaid. I had STOLEN. The end of the story is bittersweet — I did pay for the contraband but could not find Edna to make my miserable and prostrate apology.

The point is that sometimes we women focus on the point of being right rather than, well, the point. Many times, in fact a good many times, we may be wrong, and when we're not, there are a thousand other "rights" to make something work. Sometimes we need to just sit back, stop furrowing our brows and realize that we don't have to be the last word in what happens in everyone's lives.

A perfect recent example is our Fourth of July celebration. Each year I plan about three weeks in advance, and on the Fourth of July I can't wait to get up and get going. This is even though we don't usually leave until late afternoon, and this year we only had our own family involved.

Conversely, my sweet husband delights in having one day to sleep in, without a mile-long list of things to do. However, this year of not needing to be "right," I planned ahead for this difference in schedule opinions. While he rested, I satiated my over-achieving needs by painting a landscape and reading some Nancy Drew.