From Deseret News archives:

Utah stay-at-home dads deal with stigma, stereotypes, no special cards

Published: Sunday, June 15, 2008 12:01 a.m. MDT
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This Father's Day, don't count on finding any Hallmark cards written for "Our SAHD Dad" or that say "We're so glad work didn't work out ..."

Hallmark public-relations representative Deidre Parkes said in an e-mail that Hallmark does not make cards geared specifically to stay-at-home dads.

But that's OK.

"The last thing I want to do is draw attention to the fact that I need special treatment," said stay-at-home dad Jeff Hunter, 43, in Salt Lake City. "More than anything it would be the acknowledgment that there are stay-at-home dads."

And in Utah, there are at least three.

"I don't think much of Father's Day," said Jeff Thomas, 33, a stay-at-home dad in the Daybreak development in South Jordan. He said he and his wife, Jolene, pretty much overlook the day. "It's all about marketing."

Hunter said Father's Day generally falls on his birthday, so it is lost in other celebrations.

"Father's Day has a totally different meaning than Mother's Day," Hunter said. "It's not a true holiday; it's an afterthought."

Hunter is not complaining. Being a stay-at-home dad is uncommon in Utah, Hunter said, and he doesn't feel like a victim of stay-at-home dad stereotypes.

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"Mr. Mom has been played," said Kenn Johnson, 35, a stay-at-home dad in Bountiful. "'Oh, you're Mr. Mom, as in you can't get a job? You're doing a woman's job? Is it inferior or something?' It's a slap in the face to both men and women."

Johnson said he and his wife try to stay away from set roles in the household.

"Men and women are seeing marriage more as shared responsibilities," Johnson said. "You come home from work and help with the dishes and with the kids."

But is this shared responsibility perceived on Father's Day?

"The male is perceived and projected as a bumbling fool. I'm right up there with them," Hunter said. "Mothers deserve more of the credit anyway. I'll say two words: birth and pregnancy. We'll never be able to touch that."

Now, stay-at-home dads can move on to other important issues, such as changing diapers in men's restrooms.


E-mail: MBennett@desnews.com

Recent comments

Great line in the movie Lions and Lambs- possibly a new greeting card...

Beverley Smith | June 15, 2008 at 4:06 p.m.

My wife is Julie (I only have one), and the reason Hallmark holidays...

Jeffrey Thomas | June 15, 2008 at 11:08 a.m.

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