Are you like Mike? Or maybe like Jesse?

Last week, I shared a few e-mails from readers who are just "like Mike."

That is, they're like the reader named Mike who wrote a couple of months ago to say he and his wife make decent money and live a moderate lifestyle, but those around them seem to live much more extravagantly.

His question, as I stated last week, is, "What is 'normal,' and why does everyone around me seem to be able to eat out, travel and recreate, and splurge more often than we do?"

I shared some of your responses last week, and I'll pass along another one today. In a future column, we'll see if we can come to some kind of consensus on Mike's question.

Jesse sent me an e-mail to say that he thinks Mike's dilemma is "extremely common."

"Although I feel comfortable financially, I, too, am sometimes just baffled at the spending habits of my neighborhood friends," he wrote. "How do they do it? I would love to see how much they spend on certain things. But none of them seem to be going bankrupt."

Jesse wrote that he and his wife are in their mid-30s, college-educated, and live in a neighborhood with houses in the $250,000 to $350,000 range. They have four young children, two decent cars and a modestly furnished home.

Jesse describes himself as "somewhat obsessive" about tracking his money, so he was able to provide specifics about his financial situation. His primary annual expense categories are:

• Car: $3,000.

• Food: $5,000.

• Bills (utilities, electricity, phone, Internet, etc.): $3,000.

• Household (miscellaneous supplies, furniture, home improvements): $5,000.

• Leisure: $3,000.

• Vacation: $3,000.

• Noninsured health-care items: $1,000.

• Child care (education, toys, diapers, etc.): $2,000.

• Miscellaneous (including clothing): $1,000.

"These are nonfixed, discretionary expenditures," Jesse wrote. "Our primary day-to-day focus is on keeping these costs under control. We allow this budget to increase 10 percent per year for inflation and our growing family. It feels like things get a little bit easier each year."