Hard Rock lets grown-ups have as much fun as kids

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — If you're a parent or grandparent, chances are a kid has stumped you with a text message you couldn't decipher or a brand name you don't know.

Well, my fellow grown-ups, here's your chance for revenge. A trip to the new Hard Rock Park in Myrtle Beach, S.C., an amusement park with a rock 'n' roll theme, will prove that the generation gap runs both ways.

"Who are the 'Knights of White Satan'?" my fourth-grader whispered, wide-eyed and awed, after we emerged from a groovy dark ride full of optical illusions, flickering candles and the smell of incense. The Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin" plays during the ride.

"It's night, like darkness," I corrected him. "Not knights with swords. And it's satin, not Satan."

"Oh," he said. He thought about it for a moment, then asked, "What's satin?"

OK, some ignorance cannot be explained by your birth date. But Hard Rock Park did make me keenly aware of my birth date. Our visit left me nostalgic for my teenage years, while giving me and my husband a chance to prove to the kids that we know something about pop culture that they don't. So what if it's pop culture from the last century? Even they think it's still cool.

After riding a roller coaster called Led Zeppelin — The Ride, my teenage son admitted: "I didn't know Led Zeppelin was a band! I thought it was a guy!"

His misconception was cleared up by a video you watch before you board. But my younger son had another question: "What's a zeppelin?"

All I could do was mutter "Oh, the humanity," and head to the next ride, called Magic Mushroom Garden, where fortunately no one asked me to define "magic mushroom."

The kids did threaten to disown me when I too-loudly started singing along with "Crocodile Rock" as it played over the park's sound system.

"You're embarrassing us!" the younger one hissed.

If they thought that was embarrassing, it's a good thing our visit took place before the park opened an eatery named for Arlo Guthrie's song "Alice's Restaurant." Because if they'd asked what to have for lunch, I might have belted out, "You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant, exceptin' Alice."

If you're on a budget, do not venture into any of the park's 12 gift shops. The merchandising geniuses at Hard Rock are way too good at packaging old bands for young kids, while at the same time appealing to the heart-swell felt by their parents every time we hear the first four notes of "Stairway to Heaven."