A very fast guy and a very athletic woman won a triathlon they entered in northern Utah this past Saturday morning.

But a very pooped, somewhat chunky and sweaty dude, who's neither fast nor athletic, claimed victory as well.

I'm not sure how the other winners feel, but Shark Attack Triathlon participant No. 226 (yours truly) is still floating on cloud nine despite finishing more than a half-hour after the gold medalists and behind another 160 racers at the "sprint" event at Crystal Hot Springs.

After working for nearly five months to complete this triathlon, I didn't care where I finished. I just cared that I finished and preferably not on a stretcher, crawling, puking or after the cleaning crew and everybody else had left for the day.

As unbelievable as it still seems, the same guy who once weighed 371 pounds, who has made and strayed away from many goals in this weight-loss column, who was lazy and inactive, and who had never been in an organized race that didn't include mass quantities of food as part of the competition now officially has one triathlon under his ever-shrinking belt.

No wonder I can't wipe this cheesy grin off my face.

I trained. I tried. I triumphed.

I am a triathlete.

Pinch me now. Never mind. I'm still a bit sore.

Though I'm not a swimmer, a cyclist or a runner and never have been, and especially not all in a row, triathlons have always intrigued me. Of course, it always seemed like an unattainable goal, kinda like single guys wanting to date the supermodel or hitting the World Series-winning home run.

This year, however, my interest in triathlons was rekindled. I had fallen off the dieting bandwagon and was on my way to re-entering the dreaded 300-plus club. So, I committed myself to try a tri. I found a couch-to-triathlon program that helped me start slow and easy. At first, I simply walked 20 minutes at a time, only swam a couple of laps and biked just two miles. Slow and easy. I could handle that.

Over the weeks and months, the training became less slow and less easy, but I stuck to my plan. It helped me lose 50 pounds to bring my overall total loss to 145 pounds. I went from walking to walking and jogging, eventually getting to the point where I could almost "run" an entire 5K. Despite challenges, my swimming and cycling also steadily progressed.

Before I knew it, January turned to February, then whoa! — May was here, and suddenly I was wearing a swim cap, goggles and Spandex, my wife and two kids were yelling for daddy, and a guy with a timer was saying 3-2-1-GO! For a change, I wasn't writing about a sporting event — I was in it.