Education, he said, is so focused on attaining traditional outcomes, it has "failed to recognize we are losing part of our character."

Forni, too, says teaching students social skills needs more emphasis in schools.

"We are very close to being able to demonstrate that social intelligence or relational competence is a better predictor of success in school and life than we measure with IQ," he said.

But it's not just children who need to be taught.

"I'm often asked to speak at high schools. Principals say, 'I want you to talk to our children.' I often say, 'No, I want to talk to your parents."' Utah has a reputation for having rude drivers.

"We don't have the room on our freeways to do what's going on here," said California transplant Tanner Mackey, adding he often sees drivers "shoot the gap" between cars or "pingpong" off each other.

"They're a tad aggressive," he said. "They're not afraid to change lanes and ride you."

Mackey said a driver recently pulled up next to him and called him a "jackass" for going the speed limit.

Streets and highways are known theaters of incivility. The question, Forni says, is why.

"In traffic, you have stress and anonymity coming together to cause a very volatile mixture," he said. "We're both anonymous and protected in the steel cocoons of our cars, and we think we can get way with anything."

Utah Highway Patrol trooper Roger Griffis sees it every day as he cruises the interstates in Salt Lake Valley. Tailgating and darting in and out of traffic are common bad habits he sees.

Driver impatience often emerges on freeway onramps controlled with traffic signals. When Griffis pulls them over, he says motorists tell him the "people in front are too slow."

Some drivers, he said, don't take kindly to being stopped.

"I don't argue with them anymore," he said. "I tell them to argue with the judge." Politeness can be perceived as weakness, especially in the cutthroat corporate world where confrontation is often the rule of business.

"There is this perception, that isn't true, that nice guys finish last. My answer to that is not if they're smart. Smart and nice are a winning combination in our society," Forni said.

Intelligence might open the door to a job, but down the line, the person with the better social skills will have made greater strides in the company, he said.

"Social skills strengthen social bonds, and we need social bonds to survive and to thrive," Forni said.

There are only two ways of being successful in life: treating others very badly or treating others very well.

Cheating and lying work until someone gets your number, he said. They also leave people with more enemies than friends.

People who are nice, Forni says, will in the long run have a network of associates and acquaintances who like and trust them.

Given the choice, he said, "Who would choose jerk over good guy?"

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E-mail: romboy@desnews.com