ALPHABET SOUP
The University of Utah announced its new president on Jan. 20, choosing longtime employee David W. "Dave" Pershing.
Considering the other finalist's name was Kumble Subbaswamy, it was a good choice.
It took Rock On until just last week to figure out how to pronounce Krystkowiak.
INCISIVE ACTION
OK, so Earl Watson is 32 years old. But that doesn't mean he should be labeled long in the tooth.
Actually, Watson was missing a tooth recently after colliding with Minnesota's Ricky Rubio. Watson said, "My daughter kept telling me to put my tooth under my pillow" so the Tooth Fairy could work its magic.
While he's at it, maybe he should ask the Tooth Fairy to grant the Jazz another trip to the NBA finals.
LUNCH MONEY
After hearing BYU fans cheering for Sacramento's Jimmer Fredette at ESA on Friday, Watson said, "It was like college. I thought I had on a Utah Utes jersey. It was like Utes vs. BYU. I was back in college. I want a per diem check."
Last time Rock On checked, college per diem was $26 and NBA's was $106. So explain it one more time: Exactly where did Watson go to school?
HOME FIELD
A bill in the Florida senate is proposing that all stadiums constructed with public money be used as homeless shelters when they're not booked for events.
Ah, so that's who's been sitting in the box seats at the Marlins games.
MAIL STOP
Last season when Karl Malone showed up for the Jazz-Phoenix game, he had a little problem: He couldn't get any tickets.
In an interview on the Gordon Monson Show (1280-AM), last week, the Mailman said he called the Jazz but apparently nothing was available.
"I never want to feel like I have to beg for tickets," he said.
Malone ended up buying tickets from a scalper outside EnergySolutions Arena.
No truth to the rumor they're using his statue as a doorstop.
THE NUTTY TRUTH
Asked if the Jazz would ever be able to sign a superstar free agent, Malone said, "I don't see it. I don't see a superstar coming here. But even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while."
email: rock@desnews.com
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sammy, I suspect the Mailman had known that particular maxim long before some anonymous fellow called themselves "PACute," and if you hadn't, I would suggest venturing outside Utah Valley sometime soon, it could do you good.
Rock, you aren't funny.
And here's proof that Karl Malone can read... the Dnews for some of his 'standup' material.
Thanks Karl, it was funny then and when you said it as well!
PACute 9:46 p.m. Jan. 5, 2012
Salt Lake City, Utah
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